Stuff I discussed with one of my friends

A few weeks ago, I had a discussion with my friend. He was dictating to me an argument he had with his mom and how he couldn't win even though all of his actions and explanations were logically understandable. A week later, I had a eerily similar conversation with another friend who had a small feud with his girlfriend. He essentially said the same thing; that his girlfriend didn't really give him a chance to defend himself (as if she wanted to vilify him). In addition, both of my friends decided to make the blanket statement, "Girls can't be wrong. And if they are, you're more wrong."

After hearing this statement a second time, I brushed it off as a harsh generalization that would only capture the truth in small group of people. Then I thought about it. I thought about all the arguments with women I've known throughout the years (more specifically the arguments I felt I was in the right and deserved an apology for). In my analysis, I realized that out of these situations, I could probably count with one hand how many direct, noticeably sincere apologies I've received (one of which was after a woman backed up her car into my while I was biking). Even of the most benevolent, meek girls I've met, I generally receive apologies that essentially say "I'm sorry you feel that way," as opposed to being sorry for what they have done.

[Too be fair, there were MANY MORE situations where I had to apologize.]

My thoughts escalated to a boiling point when my mom called me today nagging and yelling at me to do something or other. After legitimizing my actions, I told her not to judge me until she understand the entire situation. She floundered with her words without apologizing and directed more argumentative statements at other aspects of my life. At this point, I was pretty annoyed and nearly convinced that what my friends had told me was, for the most part, true.

But as things died down, she started to rant about her new job. How her boss expected difficult tasks and that the machines she uses at the new workplace were unfamiliar and hard to get used to. She ended her monologue by saying in an exasperated voice, "It's... it's just so hard."

And I guess that's when I understood why she was so naggy with me. She was directing all the negative energy she had towards her new job, an unfamiliar situation, onto me, a close relative. All of her scolding was simply grumpiness and workplace angst, which I experience all the time, (which I will admit, leads to me discharging my negativity to close friends and classmates). I don't think I have a lot in common with my mother; our hobbies, lifestyles and morals are quite different. At this moment, however, I felt very close with her.

And so as I simmered down, I thought about my developing prejudice towards girls again. I decided that EVEN IF most girls are obstinate arguers, it could be because they are close to you and need an outlet for things they cannot control. I won't take unjustified arguing lying down, but I guess I'll accept any that appears to be bottled-up stress as signs of intimacy and familiarity.

Have a nice day
-Matthew

Time Capsule

I did this survey over a year ago. the italics are what I would put now. If there is no italics, then I have made no changes.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Matthew
2. Matt (I guess)
3. Many people call me Litrus.

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. GoodMisterWombat
2. mlitrus
3. beanman135

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Being taller than 5'- After Alexander Technique, I like my hands and fingers
2. I sort of like my eyes - After Alexander Technique, I like my feet
3. - I guess I still sort of like my eyes

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Being taller than 6' - A weak stomach
2. Hair - The lack of toned muscle.
3. Having a weak body - Sometimes, my nose annoys me

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. American culturally
2. Indonesian parents
3. Chinese by blood

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Caterpillars or creepy crawly things by convention.
2. Being an insurance salesman - Facing rejection due to inadequacy I am blind to see
3. Loneliness - Acting foolish without knowing

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Most of the time, I carry around a wallet,
2. cell phone
3. and keys. - Now I also carry around a pocket planner (in my butt pocket) and chapstick.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Glasses
2. Boxers
3. - ...Nothing has changed

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. Tokyo Jihen - Robert Glasper
2. Charles Mingus - Bill Evans
3. Phoenix - Hank Jones

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. At the moment, "Kaban no Nakami" by Tokyo Jihen - "Waltz for Debby" by Bill Evans
2. "Every New Day" by Five Iron Frenzy - "Sweet Spot" by Tokyo Jihen
3. "Kid Charlemagne" by Steely Dan - "Beatrice" by Sam Rivers (performed by Robert Glasper)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Love. haha - I guess this was somewhat of an unfair answer. Other than the obvious, I would want someone who cares,
2. - is clear about her intentions
3. - and possesses emotional range.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. I enjoy cold showers. - Here's a new set: I don't enjoy love stories.
2. I enjoy grocery shopping. - I don't enjoy doing dishes.
3. I enjoy the smell of some cigarette smoke. - I don't enjoy smoking cigarettes.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Pleasant face. - In addition,
2. Moderately tall. - Not too thin, not too chubby (Qualifier: Not emaciated, not fat)
3. A nice smile. - Generally well kept (she takes showers)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Playing music - In addition,
2. Smash - Bumming around with friends
3. Reading news sites and blogs. - Exercising while playing Pokemon.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Have a consistent band. - Play piano well in groups
2. Breath deeply in comfort. - Understand bass rhythms and lines. [Remark: I can breathe very comfortably now thanks to Alexander lessons]
3. Get better at/understand jazz. - Figure out my future. Get a job.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. Something about the movies. - All of these at once.
2. A musician of some sort.
3. Math teacher

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Japan
2. Hawaii
3. Home (is that valid?)

THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Katherine
2. Jean (a name for boys)
3. Marcus is a very cool name (I wouldn't give it my kids though) - Actually, I would consider giving it to one of my kids (if any).

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Be a difference in one way or another.
2. I'd hope to marry
3. Be a better musician.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. I use conditioner (I have cat hair otherwise!) - In addition,
2. I like quiche (HAHA I don't know if this is feminie or not) - I have bad alcohol tolerance
3. I like to shop. - I like singing girl parts. Falsetto is super fun.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. I can eat well. - In addition,
2. I avoid "chick flicks" - I am whimsical and not myself when I'm with pretty girls (this is science)
3. I play smash. - I am a pretty dirty/disorganized person.

THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. Abraham Lincoln - You,
2. Ellen Degeneres - A person you would like to see take this quiz now,
3. Maybe my Dad. - and a person you would not like to see take this quiz now.

I guess I haven't changed too much since last year.

Have a nice day,
-Matthew